How to Name a Guardian for Your Children

It’s one of the hardest questions parents face: who would raise your children if something happened to you? Thinking about it can be painful, and many parents put off the decision. But naming a guardian is one of the most important steps you can take to protect your children. It ensures that your choice, rather than a court’s, determines who would care for them.

Why naming a guardian matters

If both parents die or become unable to care for their children without naming a guardian, a court decides who raises the children. A judge will consider the children’s best interests, but the judge doesn’t know your family, your values or your wishes the way you do.

Without clear instructions, relatives may disagree about who should care for the children, which can lead to family conflict, legal costs and delays. The process can be stressful for everyone, especially the children, who are already coping with tremendous loss.

Naming a guardian gives your children stability and gives you peace of mind that they’ll be cared for by someone you trust.

How to name a guardian

In most states, you name a guardian for minor children in your will. This is one of the most important reasons for parents to have a will, even if they don’t have significant assets. Some states also allow parents to name a guardian through other documents, such as a separate designation.

A court typically still approves the guardian, but courts generally give significant weight to parents’ wishes as expressed in a valid will, unless there’s a compelling reason not to.

An estate planning attorney can help you create a will that names a guardian and addresses other important matters. Reputable online will-making tools are another option for straightforward situations. Make sure your will meets your state’s legal requirements, such as signing and witnessing rules, so it’s valid.

If you share custody with a former partner, the surviving parent generally has the right to custody of the children. Naming a guardian typically matters most if both parents are unable to care for the children, though there can be exceptions. An attorney can help you understand how your situation works under your state’s laws.

Choosing the right person

Choosing a guardian involves weighing many factors. Consider whether the person shares your values, parenting approach and beliefs about education, religion and discipline. Think about whether they’re willing and able to take on the responsibility, including the time, energy and emotional commitment of raising children.

Consider where they live and whether your children would need to move, possibly changing schools and leaving friends. Think about their age and health, since you want someone who can care for your children until they’re grown. Consider how they relate to your children and whether your children feel comfortable with them.

Think about their existing family situation, such as whether they have children of their own and how your children would fit into their household. Financial stability matters too, though you can provide money for your children’s care through life insurance and other assets.

There’s rarely a perfect choice. Focus on who would provide the most loving, stable and supportive environment for your children.

Name a backup guardian

Name an alternate, or successor, guardian in case your first choice can’t serve. Circumstances change, and the person you choose might become unable or unwilling to take on the role due to illness, relocation, family changes or other reasons. A backup ensures your children still have a guardian you chose.

Plan for money for your kids

Raising children is expensive, and you’ll want to make sure there’s money available for your children’s care. You can name one person as guardian to raise your kids and another person to manage money you leave them. Some parents choose this arrangement because the best caregiver isn’t always the best money manager.

Money for children is often managed through a trust, which lets you specify how and when money is used, such as for education, health care and living expenses, and at what ages children receive money directly. A trust can provide more control than leaving money outright.

Make sure your life insurance and account beneficiaries line up with your plan. Since minor children generally can’t receive large sums directly, naming a trust or a custodian as beneficiary can help ensure money is managed for your children. An estate planning attorney can help coordinate these elements.

Talk to your chosen guardian

Ask your chosen guardian before naming them, so you know they’re willing to serve. Share your wishes for how you’d like your children raised, including values, education, religion, relationships with extended family and other priorities. Some parents write a letter of intent with detailed guidance about their children’s routines, needs, interests and hopes for their future.

Review your choice regularly

Review your guardian choice every few years and after major life events, such as a move, a birth, a divorce, or changes in the guardian’s circumstances. Update your will as needed.

Naming a guardian is an act of love. While it’s a difficult decision, making it ensures your children will be cared for by someone you trust if you’re ever unable to be there for them.